Saturday, July 29, 2006

 

Permanency of Marriage

My wife and I were married fifty-six years ago, on June 13, 1950, in Urbana, Illinois. We were both graduate students with part-time jobs with the University, and we took off some time during lunch break to go to the police magistrate in Urbana for the ceremony. We took with us two friends, also graduate students, to serve as witnesses.

During the years we've had our problems. In 1967 my wife, acting on the advice of a psychiatrist we were then seeing, decided to divorce me. I moved out of our house into an apartment for a few months. In September of that year, my wife got word from my father that my mother had just died. My wife comforted me for the loss, even though she and my mother had never gotten along too well. I went to Michigan for the funeral. Afterward, my wife and I reconciled and I moved back to our house.

We've had other problems. We've quarreled about money and investments. We've fought about things that neither of us can remember. But now, fifty-six years later, we are still together. Our marriage has been a strong, solid institution.

I wonder sometimes if I am somewhat autistic. I've read that autistic people are unable to feel or recognize emotions in others. I find it impossible to understand why some people feel, or at least say, that they are dead-set against "gay marriage" because it represents a threat to their own marriages, the sanctity of the family, and all that stuff. Certainly the experience of recently reading about the performance of gay marriage ceremonies in San Francisco, in Massachusetts, and in many foreign countries has had no effect on our marriage. My wife and I have not recently decided to get a divorce after reading about such ceremonies. What's the threat?

I think I know the answer. To some religious folk, homosexuality itself sets their teeth on edge. It is a terrible sin. People, especially men, who practice homosexual intimacy are really terribly bad and sinful persons. They should be treated by harassment, scorn, persecution, and even stoning to death. Laws banning sodomy and same-sex marriage are just part of this program of persecution.

I think further that these religious folk are puritans. They are opposed to activities that are enjoyable, particularly activities not sanctioned in the Old Testament. They believe that homosexual intimacy is probably very enjoyable and it must be opposed lest they themselves or their children take up such practices. Of course, any kind of sexual intimacy outside of marriage is sinful as well as enjoyable. A woman with an unwanted pregnancy obviously has been enjoying herself in a sinful activity and must be appropriately punished. In some countries (e.g., Nigeria) she can be sentenced to death by stoning. We don't do that in this country. The next best thing is to shame her. Make her give birth to the little bastard she's carrying in her womb. Don't let her escape the public disgrace.

My wife and I are living together quite happily, thank you. Homosexual marriages and abortions don't bother us in the least. We live and let live. Religious fundamentalists, both Christian and Muslim, should adopt that rule of life.
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